Etiquette

We've been back in the States for just about two weeks now. We've moved into our new home on campus, and are slowly readjusting to the quiet and plenitude of the countryside. In the home, we continue to speak Spanish with Owen and his language is exploding. He picks up several new words each day, and is starting to string them together into simple sentences. "Coche cae" "Manzana come" "No baño no" or "Chau chau" are refrains that constantly echo through the rooms of our new house.

It all feels idyllic and I feel like supermom--bilingual baby, minority language dominant, plus I just baked some breads and apple crisp--until family or friends arrive.  Since we've been away so long (2 months is an eternity when you have a toddler...) we've been receiving lots of visitors to our semi-unpacked abode this past week. And none of them, almost none of them, speak Spanish (I think I mentioned this in an earlier post...). What do I do? I'm an old hand at code-switching, but what about Owen? I can feel our loved ones tensing up as I check in with O-- "¿Quieres que te cambie el pañal? ¿Tienes hambre? ¡Saluda al tío!"-- and they aren't quite sure what is going on. It's been making me reflect on language etiquette, on the power dynamics implicit in a multilingual situation, where (s)he who speaks the most languages gets to have their say while the rest try to keep tabs on what's going on. I don't want to cave and speak in English to make my (adult) guests feel less intimidated by this chattering two year old, but I also want people to feel comfortable and welcome in our home.

I need to keep mulling this over, trying different tactics to involve English-only speakers in my interactions with O, encouraging our visitors to engage with and without language. It's funny, I didn't expect the first big trial of bilingual parenting to be MY own sense of propriety or embarrassment inhibiting the project.