If you give a baby a boob...

I've been thinking about gender roles, feminism, and how the last seven months, I have found myself feeling anything but liberated, more of a martyr really.  It all goes back to the boob- it makes slightly more sense for a woman to stay home with the kids than a man because they have the breast milk.  So you stay home.  And soon, since you're the one staying home, you find yourself doing all of the chores.  So you feed your kid, take care of them all the time, learn all of their quirks, and do the housework.  Then because you know the kid's quirks, you end up being in charge even when your husband is home.  And you have the boob.  So then you are working 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and you're tired.  Oh, and then because you're a woman, you feel pressure to look good, even postpartum.  So you wake up every morning to run at 6am even though you had to feed five times last night.  And then you are really tired.  Because you only have one income, there is no money to get help, so it's just you with the kid.  And then you're a martyr, exactly what you were trying to avoid.

It is this incredible snowball effect that is hard for anyone to avoid, even a woman who thought she was liberated before she decided to have a kid.  I don't claim to have the answer, and given how much talk there is around this issue, it seems nobody does.  All I have are questions- how do I both raise my kid and feel fulfilled in my career?  How do I put into practice my ideas about a mindful, environmentally conscious lifestyle without feeling completely trapped by cloth diaper laundry cycles and homemade baby food?  How do I actually let go of control and let another person be in charge of my daughter?  How do two parents working full time still manage to dedicate time to their children?  If one person does not work full time, who will make the professional sacrifice and why?  

If you have it all figured out, please comment:)